You’re not stupid for being fooled by a narcissist. Self-doubt is the gift that keeps on giving long after you’ve realized you’ve been trying your best to share a life with one. This is because one of the primary tactics a narcissist uses to keep you distracted and unable to feel emotionally stable in your relationship is gaslighting. Gaslighting occurs when the narcissist purposefully causes you to question your memory of certain situations. It can feel like you aren’t sharing the same reality. When you start asking yourself “am I crazy?” often, it’s a good sign that you’ve been gaslit…


You are not crazy. You did not imagine being in the perfect relationship for a moment in time. It was real. At least it was for you. You met a person that checked all your boxes and let your guard down. No sooner than you began to settle in, a switch flipped, leaving you feeling confused and once again unsettled.

You think to yourself, “A soulmate isn’t supposed to make me feel this way. Perhaps it’s just a phase.”

But your selfless partner gradually morphs into the most selfish person you’ve ever known. The emotional climate between you swings from…


Dry cough, fever, and shortness of breath. Health officials have beaten this trifecta of symptoms into our heads to help us know if we might have contracted Covid-19, the disease caused by the novel coronavirus. Many of us fear developing a severe case, one that will lead to us needing life support or worse — death. Knowing the symptoms has us evaluating random coughs, second-guessing our normal indigestion, and even imagining feeling feverish after a trip to the grocery store. …


“Everything else gets the best of her while I get the rest of her” is a common complaint I hear from defeated partners at the start of couples therapy. As early as the dating phase, some relationships show warning signs of poor physical or sexual connection. The quality and frequency of sex and intimacy between partners is often hindered by “the list”. Whether one partner is an ambitious and driven entrepreneur or simply a fan of organization and structure, being a slave to a daily list of things to do can make it difficult for them to shut off their…


Warning Signs of the Abuser You Never See Coming

When it comes to romantic relationships, resilient people have this one thing in common. Quite often, they don’t discover that they’ve been enduring actual abuse until their psychological resources are nearly depleted, which takes a great deal longer than others without their strength. It’s not that they don’t see signs or fail to identify toxic behavior. They simply have a knack for working around problems, rising above them, and pushing through them for the sake of achieving their relationship goals. In the meantime, these abusive relationships do take their mental, emotional…


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Brown people and poor people don’t diagnose problems. We just don’t. Many of us weren’t taught to see personality and behavior problems as clinical issues that deserved a formal label and a prescription drug regimen. Mood and personality disorders are “rich people problems”, and since poverty is historically embedded in the black and brown community’s history in America, we just couldn’t relate before. Or so we thought.

Don’t get me wrong. Trauma doesn’t exactly discriminate. However, a lack of certain resources, such as healthy foods, safety, quality education, and guidance does make certain populations more susceptible to various types of…


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This revelation is not for the faint at heart. The day you realize that your “good on paper” relationship isn’t really good enough is the start of a war against good and evil in your brain. Perhaps you were attracted to your partner’s intellect but later discovered there was no ambition handy to put it to good use. Maybe you now become agitated because the financial stability that once comforted you hasn’t been paired with a vision to increase your earnings or invest for the future. It’s possible that your more recent sexual encounters were so void of connection that…


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It was all so beautiful. Perhaps you were getting over your last relationship or taking a break from dating altogether. Maybe you were in a relationship that was heading south. Suddenly another soul pops up and expresses an interest in getting to know you on a deeper level. Skeptically you take the bait, and slowly begin the process of revealing yourself-one layer at a time. You can’t help but notice that seemingly random soul is doing, saying, and being all the right things, which feels amazing.

You even question, “could this be my soulmate?”

You settle in as much as…


Reading the Fine Print Before the Proposal

I’ve always been fond of the icebreaker “two truths and a lie”. It helps strangers to quickly learn meaningful information about each other in a group setting. Once people are paired up they take turns giving each other 3 statements about themselves. The listener has to guess which of the 3 statements is true, while learning that the other 2 statements are lies. When people that have experienced marriage try to prepare unmarried couples for the journey that lies ahead, the process can be eerily similar. In fact, there is one common lie…


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In the 3rd part of this series, I bring words of wisdom from individuals that failed to consider an important factor early in their dating relationship. Their differing approaches to handling conflict and the resistance of one partner to seek outside help for resolving problems can make or break any couple’s ability to go the distance romantically. Can couples that disagree about the need to address certain sticking points with the help of outside support ultimately find their way back to happiness?

Let’s continue to explore the most hard-earned and valuable lessons from couples that crashed and burned in loving…

Weena Cullins

Weena Cullins is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Mainstream Media Clinical Writer, Radio Personality, Public Speaker & Relationship Repair Expert in DC.

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